Sermon for Sunday May 11th, 2008

AN HONORABLE WOMAN by Bruce Ball

Proverbs 31:1-31:31


Let me begin by wishing all of the mothers here today a Happy Mother’s Day. We had better all show some admiration to mothers, because, as the old saying goes; ‘if it weren’t for moms, none of us would be here.’

Now, we all know that motherhood has its sweet and wonderful times, but it also has its hard times; times caused when motherhood itself is an accident, or when it is not even a possibility to others. In truth, some mothers aren’t really all that nice, and even in the best of circumstances, motherhood is not always a bed of roses.

Today, we are going to talk about women in general, and mothers in particular. And we will do so by using a perfect biblical example of each; the one found in PROVERBS 31.

While you are turning in your bibles to that passage, let me remind you that becoming a mother really isn’t all that difficult. It is becoming a mom that is the hardest part. And no matter how many diapers you have to change, or how many nights you stay up with sick children, in the end it is all worth it because those children will only grow up to do the same things for their children.

Speaking of mothers, I am reminded of a grade-school teacher who was teaching her students about magnets. She spread metal shavings on her desk and then had the students, one by one, take the magnet and slowly glide past them. They were amazed how all the metal shavings jumped up to go to the magnet.

The next day, she gave them a quiz. One of the questions was: “I have six letters and I pick up things. What am I?” She was surprised to see that every child in class wrote down “Mother” for the answer.

And while mothers do pick up after everyone else in the home, they are far more than picker-uppers. Their duties include being teachers, nurses, confidants, chauffeurs, cooks, maids, and much more.

So I guess we could say that an honorable woman is one who takes on the job of wife and mother out of the love of her heart and not the pay she could get from doing the job.

In PROVERBS 31, we learn what a king’s mother taught him as he was growing up.

We do not know all that much about him, but we do know that in Hebrew, his name means “dedicated to God.” This shows that His mother honored God even in her child bearing, by dedicating her newly born son to God Almighty.

Let’s read.

PROVERBS 31:1-9

‘The sayings of King Lemuel, an oracle his mother taught him: “O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows – do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings.

“It is not for kings, O Lemuel – not for kings to drink wine, to for rulers to crave beer; lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.

“Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; let them drink and forget their poverty – so they remember their misery no more.

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

Can we see the immense depth of what this woman was teaching her son? I think it might go way past “honorable” and go right to “Godly.” Let’s explore these words in more depth.

The bible doesn’t tell us specifically, but we must assume that Lemuel was raised to be a king, or at least that is the impression given. And His mother is wisely preparing him early to be a proper and kindly king.

She reminds him that a lust for women will bring down any power, no matter who holds it. And she reminds him that to give oneself over to alcohol makes one forget the priorities in their lives. She goes on in verse 5 to say that alcohol will make them forget to stand up for the oppressed. And you know that when a person gets drunk they forget all about what they are supposed to be doing, don’t they?

So, his mother warns him of things to stay away from, but then she gives him some very solid advice. Advice fit for a king.

She shows her compassion towards those who suffer by telling him it is okay if they drink to forget their misery. And then she instructs him to speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves. She tells him to speak up for them and to judge them fairly; and to defend the poor.

This mother was a very good woman, wasn’t she? It is also evident that she was very intelligent and had much common sense.

I don’t know how Lemuel would have fared in today’s culture, though. Being that he was a king, he would be a politician today. And what do all politicians do? They try and tell you what sounds good to you, while planning on doing what is best for them. I know that sounds very cynical, but it comes from over 50 years of watching politicians before and after their elections.

So we learn that Lemuel’s mother prepared him well. Isn’t that what we try and do with our children? Don’t we try and teach them right from wrong, fair from unjust, and to treat people fairly? But do today’s mothers always try to teach them about God?

In the early Jewish households, the practice was for the children to sit around the dinner table in the evening reciting the Proverbs as found in the Bible. There are very few parents who ever try and get their children to read the Bible today. And that is because they were never taught as a child. We become our parents in many ways as we get older, don’t we?

A mother plays a very special part in God’s kingdom.

She is the first to bond with her child. She is the child’s first window into the world. And she alone is the one who sets the course for the child’s entire life.

Since she is so very important to that child’s future, shouldn’t she also see the need to steer that child in the direction of the Bible and to Christ?

My mother was a good mother. She is gone now and all I have are the memories she gave me. Memories like teaching me to pray. She would say I had better pray that I didn’t have a son just like me. Like all smaller children, when I got punished, I would sometimes whine. Well, she taught me about emotions. She would say that if I kept whining, she would give me something to really cry about. And she would teach me the value of life by looking at me after I had done something wrong, and remind me that she brought me into this world, and she could certainly take me out of it.

Of course I am joking. My mother was a Godly woman who taught every one of her five children to be Christians. And she did that while making sure the needs of her entire family were being met.

But for her to be a good mother, she first had to be a good woman. In this same chapter of PROVERBS, we learn what a good woman is. Let us continue reading, starting with verse 10. And let’s try and find five qualities that make this lady a woman of noble character.

(Read verses 10-31)

The first quality of noble character we see is that she supports her husband.

Verse 11 reads, “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

Now look at this woman. Do you think she praises her husband or do you think she argues with him and causes strife in their marriage? I do not see her as anything but helpful and supportive to him.

But that also shows me that he must be the kind of husband who puts her feelings as one of his priorities. I do not see him taking her for granted or refusing to listen to her when she has something to say, either. It is obvious that this couple treats each other with absolute respect.

One of the most important needs a man has is for his wife to look up him as her hero, not look down on him as a man who cannot do anything right. A woman of noble character esteems her husband for she knows how valuable he is to her and how much he loves her.

It has been said that a happy marriage begins with the wife. She must treat her husband nice, and in turn, he will be able to treat her even better. I personally think that most men are very naïve compared to women, at least emotionally. The man sees things more in a black and white world, whereas a woman sees the world in many shades of gray. But when the wife treats her husband with love, he will do the same thing the lady in Scripture’s husband did. In verse 28, it says he praises her.

PROVERBS 12:4 says,

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”

The woman in PROVERBS 31 is not only supportive of her husband but she takes care of her home.

Verse 27 reads,

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Verse 15 continues with,

“She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.”

Verse 21,

“When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed with scarlet.”

I know that it is not politically correct to say that a woman’s job is in the home. But I’m not very politically correct. And I am not afraid to stand before you and tell you that each wife and mother has a responsibility to manage the affairs of her home.

Do you know why that is? It is because men will mess it all up. Ladies, you leave a guy in charge of the house for any length of time and you know what happens. Ask Diana, what she has found after coming home from visiting her family in Florida. I keep telling her I do that so she will know I need her, but she just rolls her eyes and starts fixing the mess.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the man is supposed to be in charge of the daily operations of a home. Men are called to be the spiritual leaders and priests of their home, but the day-to-day management is the wife’s responsibility.

A woman called from the office and asked her husband to make dinner. She arrived home and saw her husband laying on the couch. She was angry and asked, why he hadn’t made dinner as she requested.

He said he did make it. He said he made pasta salad, and the directions told him to chill before eating. And that is what he was doing …. chilling!

That’s what happens when a man manages the affairs of the home. Women, on the other hand, have a God-given ability to know more about how things need to get done in the home.

Some of you might think I am saying a woman’s place is in the home. You are right, I am. But instead of getting upset at me, hear me out. A woman’s place is in the home because she is the one who has the abilities to hold it together and because she is the one who has the most influence over her children.

But a woman’s place is not just in the house. In verse 17, it tells us she works hard and her arms are strong. She is no stranger to work and eagerly pursues it. So, just as much as a woman’s place is in the home, it is also out of the home and in the workforce. Look at some of the things she does.

Verse 16 says she buys some land and then plants a vineyard.

Verse 18 says she knows how to do business, as her trading is profitable, and she stays up later tending to her business.

Verse 24 says she is a manufacturer. She makes sashes out of fine linen and sells them to the business in the marketplace.

This woman tends to her family and her home, holding them together and tending to their needs because she enjoys loving them that much. But she is also an adept businesswoman, who could probably run circles around most of her male counterparts.

While we are on the subject of where a woman’s place is, let me set the record straight for those who misread the words and don’t understand the context of the words in the Bible.

Some Christians say a woman’s place is only in the home, taking care of the needs of her husband and children. But this passage in PROVERBS shoots that theory out the window.

Women are to be submissive to their husbands as to the Lord. It goes on to say that the husband is the head of the wife (or the leader of the wife) as Christ is the church.

Men, this is directed at you. If your wife will be obedient to God enough to be submissive to you, don’t you think your responsibility is to treat her the way Christ treats His church?

A woman being submissive to her husband has nothing to do with him being her boss. You have a sacred duty to your wife. That is to treat her with the same love that Jesus has for you.

Enhance her. Encourage her. Compliment her. And show her how blessed you think you are by having her choose to be your wife.

So, a woman can have her home as her career, or she can have a job as her career. But she has to be careful not to burn herself out.

A woman went into a doctor’s office, complaining of having no energy at all and saying it was affecting every part of her life. The doctor examined her and then gave her the results. He said she was spending half her time taking care of her husband, half her time working on her job, and half her time taking care of her children.

Know your limits and stay within them. If you put too much on your plate, nothing you do will be successful. I know that some of you are handling nearly impossible workloads at work and at home both. I know that you sometimes feel like it is all ready to tumble down on you.

I pray for you daily. I pray that God gives you that incredible strength that you need to make all the pieces fit together. I pray that He gives you rest and restoration. But above all, I pray that He gives you the insight to see the amazing job you are doing, especially by taking care of your families. And I pray that your families are able to see that, too.

This woman in the Scripture is not only self-sufficient; she also takes care of the needs of other people. In verse 20, we see where she gives to the poor. It shows her great compassion. I think women are more able to show compassion than men, too. For instance, when a little child falls down and starts crying, the mother will be the first to pick him up and wipe away his tears with soothing words. The father, knowing the child isn’t really hurt, will generally say something like, “That’ll teach you not to do that, won’t it?”

There is the story of a teacher who was teaching her class about fractions. She looked at one boy and said there were six people in his family. She said if your mom bakes a pie, and then cuts an equal piece for you, what percentage do you get of the whole pie? The boy said 1/5. The teacher asked him two more times, wanting him to say 1/6. Finally, she asked him why he kept saying 1/5. He said that they didn’t have enough money to have pie very often, so his mother would say she wasn’t hungry so the kids could have it all.

That is the best way I know to explain a mother’s love.

A woman is a special person in God’s kingdom. The woman in PROVERBS is quite a woman. Like the women here today, she was capable of doing many things, but the one thing she did that meant more than anything else is found in verse 30.

Verse 30 tells us that beauty fades away, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. And it says such a woman will get the reward she has earned and she will receive praise from others because of her very special and very noble character.

We are talking about a noble woman. That is the kind of woman God had in mind when He created Eve. But ever since Eve, we have all gotten away from God’s beautiful design and have replaced it with our own thoughts on how a woman and mother should be.

In many areas, we try and do what is right only to see that it is lacking in fulfillment or satisfaction. Why is this? It is because our culture tells us that right and wrong, or good and bad is based on what we think, not on what God says. We use our own desires as the standard and when things go wrong, we wonder why. All of us, not just mothers, must start getting back to the ideal God set for us and away from the ideal the world has given us.

For instance, it is not just good enough to be a mother. You should be a Godly mother. It is no longer good enough to just be a wife. You need to be a Godly wife.

And it is no longer good enough to go to church and be active in it, but to submit your hearts into total submission to Christ’s will for you. It is no longer good enough to claim you are a Christian, but time to let it be seen.

Are you kind towards others? Are you forgiving of others? Are you willing to look at the log in your eye before you complain about the speck in someone else’s eye?

But these last few comments pertain, not only to the women, but also to the men just as much.

When is the last time the two of you sat down together during the day and read the Bible as a team? When is the last time you held hands and prayed to God for the things you need in your family? When is the last time you both put God first and yourselves last?

Today is Mother’s Day, and I wish each of you the most lovely of days. This is the day we set aside to honor you for who you are and for what you do for your families. But let me ask you one question? Now this is for everyone here today, but also for the women and mothers.

You have done so much for your families, but have you done the most important thing? Have you told them about what Jesus can do for them? Have you told them about what Jesus has done for you?

As we go into a time of invitation, I want to invite the CrossRoads Praise Team back up to sing our closing song.

And I want each of you to fully realize that you are being given a chance right now to make sure your life is as it should be – in Christ as your Savior. For your sake and for your children’s sake. Much of what they will go through tomorrow depends directly on what you do today. Will you think about that as we sing?