Sermon for Sunday March 30th

Afton/Stone Dam
United Methodist Churches, Chuckey, Tennessee
Rev. Roy E. Fowler, Jr., Pastor

Forgiveness

In his book. Lee: The Last Years, Charles Bracelen Flood reports that after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a Kentucky lady who took him to the remains of a grand old tree in front of her house. There she bitterly cried that its limbs and trunk had been destroyed by Federal artillery fire. She looked to Lee for a word condemning the North or at least sympathizing with her loss. After a brief silence, Lee said, "Cut it down, my dear Madam, and forget it."


If it were only that easy. If only we could take the wrong and then forgive the person because we know our Father in heaven wishes it. If only we could take the wrong and then forgive the person by invoking our wells.

Some wrongs are easy to forgive. Other wrongs where we have been used, abused and degraded are very hard to forgive. Even when we know our Father in heaven wishes it.

Let me tell you a story. A couple that had been married for 15 years began having more than usual disagreements. They wanted to make their marriage work and agreed on an idea the wife had. For one month they planned to drop a slip in a "Fault" box. The boxes would provide a place to let the other know about daily irritations. The wife was diligent in her efforts and approach: "leaving the jelly top off the jar," "wet towels on the shower floor," "dirty socks not in hamper," on and on until the end of the month. After dinner, at the end of the month, they exchanged boxes. The husband read out loud and silently reflected on what he had done wrong. Then the wife opened her box and began reading. They were all the same, the message on each slip was, "I love you!"

A very cute store. But... what if the wrong had been adultery. Or physical abuse of the spouse or children. Or mental abuse.

Deep hurt leaves deep scares. Forgiveness isn’t easy. Forgiveness is hard. Especially in a long term relationship with friends, family or even work relationships that have been plagued with past troubles, tormented by fears of rejection and humiliation, and torn by suspicion and distrust.

Forgiveness would be easy if it didn’t hurt so much. Especially when it must be extended to someone who we feel doesn’t deserve it, who hasn’t earned it, who may misuse the forgiveness we give.

It hurts to forgive. Forgiveness costs. Especially when it means accepting the wrong instead of demanding repayment for the wrong done; where it means releasing the other instead of exacting revenge; where it means reaching out in Gods love instead hoping for the other person to get it for what they have done.

It costs to forgive... We have to give up on seeing the other person punished for the terrible wrong they did to us or someone we care for deeply.

When we say we can’t forgive someone. We are saying that we hate that person. We are saying we have judged them guilty and they deserve punishment.

General Oglethorpe once said to John Wesley, "I never forgive and I never forget." To which Wesley replied, "Then, Sir, I hope you never sin."

Maybe the Reverend Wesley based his reply on our text or maybe on Matthew 7: 1 & 2 where it says we will be judged the way we judge. Or maybe Matthew 18:18 where it says Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and what so ever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. In other words if we forgive the other person on earth then our Father forgives us in heaven.

So there is an incentive for us to forgive.

How can we forgive? How can we give up the hope to see revenge for what they did? How can we give up the hope to see them hurt the way we hurt?

Real forgiveness doesn’t mean that we don’t feel hurt. It doesn’t mean that we won’t think about it every once in a while. It doesn’t mean that we won’t have a set back on wanting revenge and wanting them to hurt the way we were hurt. It doesn’t mean that we have to be their best buddy. It doesn’t mean that we will allow them to do it again. It doesn’t mean that the pain will go away over night after we forgive.

What it does mean is saying to our Father in heaven "I forgive them." And I forgive them because I have hurt you more than they could ever hurt me and you forgave me.

If you know that you’ve wronged someone. As soon as this service is over you should go to that person or call that person and ask forgiveness.

Whether you are forgiving someone or forgiving yourself for a wrong you did -it isn’t easy. But you must start.

When you delete a worthless document on a computer you make the effort of putting it in the computers waste basket. But it isn’t gone from your computer.

You must make the additional effort to empty your computers waste basket. But even then it isn’t deleted from your computers memory. It’s still there. All your computer did was replace the first letter with its own code symbol to say it may be written over if the space is needed. It is hid from you. But it can be recovered even then by simply replacing the first letter.

Only after time will your computer write over that file. Then it will be completely gone.

Forgiving others and forgiving self is much the same. We have to make a real effort a definite decision to forgive. Then our memory has to be written over. Our mind has to be filled with the word of God to such that it writes over the hurt and desire for revenge.

For our spiritual and physical health let us forgive and be free.