Sermon for Sunday June 15th, 2008

READ, BLESS & PRIORITIZE by Bruce Ball

Proverbs 13:22-13:22


How many of you know what today is? Sometimes, we men tend forget dates, don’t we?

A husband was reading the morning newspaper as he ate breakfast. His wife walked behind him, letting her hand gently touch his shoulder, and asked him if he remembered what day it was.

Having no clue, but afraid to admit it, he said he did remember, but then acted really interested in an article in the paper.

When he got to work, he tried to remember what day it was but couldn’t recall. He kicked himself for not writing it down somewhere. So, to cover himself, thinking it might be her birthday, he called the florist and had a dozen red roses sent to his wife.

About lunchtime, he still wasn’t sure, and thinking it might their anniversary, he sent another dozen roses to her. But later in the day he was worried it might even be Mothers Day, and since he didn’t keep track of things like this, and just in case it was, he had another dozen roses sent.

When he arrived home that afternoon, she met him at the door with a big smile and said, “Honey, this is the nicest Ground Hogs Day I ever had!”

The moral to this story is that while men are not perfect, we need to be appreciated for trying so hard. A word to the men: Write down those dates that having meaning for your wives and put them in your wallet. It will save you a lot of time and money!

This is Fathers Day, and we are going to honor our men in general today and our fathers in particular.

On Mothers Day, we like to get our women a token gift that shows how much we love and admire you. And so we were trying to figure out what to get the men on Fathers Day.

Following the lead of Tim, the Tool Man, Taylor and his trusty sidekick, Al, I thought it would be great to give you a million-candle spotlight; so you could clearly see in all those hard to see places under your car’s hood.

And then I thought that a laser leveler might be nice; but Diana thought it would be a much nicer gift, and a more appreciated one to get you a book, so you could spend what little extra time you have …. reading! Can you believe that?

By the way, I hope you enjoy your books.

One main point I need to make today is that while any man can be a father, not all men can be a daddy. That is the premise of my message today; how to be the best daddy you can be.

Let’s talk about some of the things a daddy is supposed to do for his children and for his family. Let’s talk about …

1. A FATHER’S INSTRUCTION MANUAL

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a book that had all the answers to every problem? A book we could open whenever things went badly and see just how to fix them? Actually, there is such a book; it is called the Holy Bible. But to know what the answers are and how to put them into use requires something that most of us are not willing to do; study the book enough to know what it means.

PROVERBS 3:12 says the Lord disciplines those He loves. He teaches them, just as a father teaches the son he loves. By the way; we often get the words ‘discipline’ and ‘punishment’ mixed up. ‘Discipline’ means to train and teach. I think we all know what ‘punishment’ means, don’t we?

My dad always tried to teach us how to live within the guidelines of the Scripture. He was very loving but he never once hesitated when it came to punishing us, either.

My dad was full of wisdom, too. I remember once he was going to punish me by making me stay inside and not go out with the rest of the kids. I told him I did not do whatever it was and he was very quick to tell me that I had gotten away with much more than I ever got caught for, so it all evens out in the wash anyway, so be quiet and stay inside.

In PROVERBS 13:22, it says that a good man will leave an inheritance even for his children’s children. The first thing we think of when we hear the word ‘inheritance’ is money, isn’t it? But that is not the kind of inheritance the Word is speaking of here. It is talking about a spiritual inheritance.

If we raise our children in the way of the Lord, and love them enough to teach them love, respect and courtesy, it will keep going forward as an inheritance even to the 4th and 5th generations. Your great grandchildren will know how to love and respect their children because you loved and respected your children.

EPHESIANS 6:4 is a passage of Scripture that should be required reading for every father. It says –

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training & the instruction of the Lord."

Today, you have people like Bill Cosby making the statement that he is the father of five children, and the only hope he has left is to live long enough to see them all of them leave home.

I heard a man ask another man once if he had any children. The other man said he didn’t, and the first man asked him if he wanted to buy some! We are told in Scripture to not let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, and as far as I am concerned, that is as unwholesome as it gets. We need to make sure that our actions and our speech exalt and lift up our children, not put them down.

Three doctors were talking and one said life began at conception. Another doctor said that life begins at birth. The third doctor piped in and said that life begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies. Is that what freedom is all about; pushing the kids out so you can have more time to focus on your own desires?

Father’s hold a very special place in our society. A place much higher than they are given credit for. For instance, how many commercials, or TV shows, portray fathers as intelligent or caring heads of their households?

Most cast fathers as the family idiot, who can’t figure out how to take care of the kids, much less take care of anything else in the home, except maybe fixing the toilet when it is leaking, and even then they are the butt of the family jokes.

American society seems to see fathers as an unnecessary and expendable. In courtrooms, divorced dads hardly have a fighting chance of obtaining custody of their kids, or even being allowed to be a real part of their kid’s lives, much less have the opportunity to be the spiritual leader of their household.

Over the years, everything in our society has become fuzzy around the edges. Where things used to be black and white, there is now too much gray. It seems everybody has their own perspective and all of them are valid – except the ones that have biblical roots.

I knew a man in Phoenix that told me he had put his son in a mental hospital on several occasions because the son would just get into awful rages. After he talked to me for a while, I asked him when was the last time he went for a walk with his son and put his arm around his shoulder or told him he loved him.

The man said he didn’t do that because that was what his wife was for. I told him no wonder he had problems, that he was virtually telling the boy he was not worth his dad’s attention. And, this can be applied to any age child you have, even an older adult child. We all hurt on the inside at the same age level.

What is a father supposed to do? The answer is very simple. He is supposed to love his children enough to be a daddy to them. And he is supposed to …

2. BLESS THE CHILDREN

A man took his wife and little boy out to dinner one evening at a local restaurant. When it came time to say the blessing, the boy asked if he could say it. The parents, seeing their hard work start to pay off were overjoyed. When the boy prayed, he thanked God for the blessing of the food and at the end of the prayer, he said, “And please let mommy order ice cream for desert. Amen.”

Several other patrons heard him pray and smiled, seeing the innocence of a child’s heart, but one lady at the next table got upset, and proclaimed that was the trouble with children today … they didn’t know how to pray.

The little boy heard her comments and got his feelings hurt. He asked his father if he prayed wrong, and his fathered whispered to him that he knew for a fact that God liked that prayer. And as for ice cream, he said they would order it, because ice cream puts a smile on your face and joy in your heart.

All went well during dinner, but when they brought the ice cream for desert, the little boy took his, got up, and went to the lady who had complained. He said, “My daddy says ice cream puts a smile on the face and joy in the heart, and I want you to have it because you need it more than I do right now.”

PROVERBS 20:7 says that when a man tries to be righteous with his children, he will have children that are blessed. Give your children a blessing by teaching them to be righteous.

Loving, encouraging, and teaching are the three most effective ways a father can bless a child. No matter how young or how old your child is, it will always help them to be loved by their father, encouraged by their father, and taught by their father.

I am going to challenge each father here to step out of your comfort zones and do something so grand for your children that it will echo down the halls for generations to come. And I want you to do this today. If you can be with your children, go see them after church or have them come to your home. If you can’t be with them, call them as soon as you get home.

And while you are with them, lay one hand on their shoulder and close your eyes, then introduce them Jesus as the child you are proud of, saying you know that Jesus is proud of them, too. And then ask the Lord to give them every spiritual abundance and the wisdom of how to use that abundance. And ask God to protect the child that you love.

I know that most men might have a problem being so ‘sentimental’, but you need to force yourself; not for your sake but for your child’s sake. See, no matter how old your children might be, they desperately need to hear their daddy say they are loved and they need to see their daddy go to God in front of them and ask God to bless them. It is only when a father thinks that much of his child, that he becomes a daddy.

The modern American father has been taught to focus too much on the work and not enough on the family. I want each of you to think back to when you were a young child. Do you ever remember wanting your dad to approve of you or to love you? Your kids feel the same way, even if they have children of their own now. In short, they want to know their daddy really loves them. And, you know what? They deserve to know that.

Today’s society tries its best to portray fathers as the household idiots who cannot do anything right. Everything you see on TV, with the exception of Christian broadcasting shows this same trait. That is why Diana and I do not watch secular TV. But no matter what society says, God still says fathers are important and needed in the family structure. And if fathers are that important, so are their blessings on the children.

In GENESIS 27, we see where Jacob stole Esau’s blessing from their father. That blessing was so valued, Esau was ready to kill his brother to get it back.

I am not the perfect father, and I know I have missed occasions to show my kids how much they mean to me, but I tried my best to always keep them in the front of my mind. The long and the short of it is that today, my kids know without a doubt that their dad loves them and is very proud of them.

When we went to visit them in Arizona a few weeks ago, I gave each of them a father’s blessing. Last week, I was talking to my son who is in his mid 30’s. He said he really appreciated that blessing. So, it doesn’t matter how old you are, or what kind of relationship you have had with your children, their daddy needs to bless them.

Your love as a father is one of the strongest things in your children’s life. It can build a life – or it can destroy that life, depending on whether you give it to your child or withhold it from your child.

As much as we are to put our family as a priority, we must be very careful to …

3. KEEP THEM YOUR SECOND HIGHEST PRIORITY

Make God your number one priority, through Jesus Christ as your Savior. Then, be Godly by making your family your number two priority. This is not done by just saying it, but by living it.

A couple said they did many things wrong as they raised their kids, but one thing they did very right was to love each other and include the kids in that love. Someone once said that a family’s love is the strongest cement in the world.

When I was a young boy, our family moved from Tucson, Arizona to a little place called Jonesville, Virginia. That is where my dad was raised and my mom was raised just over the hill in Kentucky. We had very little, and we were called the poor folks by many in the holler we lived in.

But, it was in this atmosphere that my dad would take us kids on long walks and teach us the necessities of life like how to cross a swinging bridge or how to judge a mile by eye site. He also used that time to teach us about God and what Christians were.

He always looked out for the best interest of his family. And while he never had the same tenderness as mom had, he showed that he loved us, was proud of us, and was always there for us. Mom would give us loving hugs, gentle to the touch, whereas Dad would give us hearty bear hugs.

People sometimes feel that dads don’t love their kids as much as the mothers, but fathers have the capacity to love just as much as any other spiritual being. It’s just expressed in different ways. Instead of a tender hug, it was a strong bear hug, but it always felt good

When I was 5 years old. We had moved from Tucson, Arizona to Jonesville, Virginia when my dad received a medical retirement from the Air Force. We moved into a house he was raised in. And we would go for walks up the old paved road and then cut back down an old dirt road back through the apple orchard to our farm.

My most precious memories of that time were holding his hand and standing on his foot as he walked for both of us. And then just about the time we came to the apple orchard, he would always claim to be very tired and said we needed to rest a bit and “maybe eat an apple.” With that, he would pick an apple, core it, and we would share that apple together – just me and my dad.

For a long while we did not have electricity, so he would read the Bible to us each night in front of the fireplace, using an old coal oil lamp for light. What wonderful memories I have. You have wonderful memories just like these, too.

One thing we will all notice is that none of our memories center around all the “stuff” we had. It all centered on the love we felt. Today’s children are all too often given material things in lieu of a parent’s love and attention. This might keep that child busy, but it will do nothing to fill the hole in their heart made by the lack of love from a parent.

My dad loved me enough to make sure I was raised right. I want you to remember back at the relationship you had with your dad when you were small. Was it what you needed? Did you know that whatever kind of relationship you had with your father, it is pretty much the same type of relationship you have with your children?

Many men can’t seem to say the words, “I love you?” The reason they cannot say them is because they did not hear them as a child, and every time they think about saying it, they start hurting on the inside, just like they did as a child.

Please make note that it is very important to do things for someone when you love them, but all the things in the world that you do, will never take the place of a single “I love you” in words from your lips.

There is something just as important as teaching your kids love, and that is teaching your kids the truth about God. Let me explain.

There were three fathers who saw the necessity of teaching their children about God. The first father took his child for a walk in the woods and told the child how God had made the trees and how He could make them crash down on them if He chose to.

He walked a little further with his child and saw some bees gathering pollen, and he told the child how God had made those bees, and if He wanted to, He could make them all come over and sting them.

As they walked, the child understood the power of God, but did not see any of the love of God, so he was afraid to trust in God.

The second man took his child for a walk and felt the need to let the child know all he knew about God. So, as they passed the flowers, the man kept telling different facts and stories about God. As they passed the pond that was nestled in among the rolling hills, he told the child as much as he could, as quickly as he could so he wouldn’t forget anything.

When they finished their walk, that child could not trust God because he did not know God, he just knew about Him.

The third man took his child for a walk and as they passed the grassy fields they stopped and enjoyed it. The man told the child that God loved us so much; He made these fields so we would see His beauty.

As they passed the wildflowers on the side of the road, the man told the child how God loved us so much that He gave us colorful flowers to make our hearts joyful. That child came home and was able to trust in God because he knew God loved him and would provide for him.

A dad is never so tall to a child as when he kneels to pray with that child. And we must remember that a father can be a critic but it takes a dad to be a coach. My prayer is that you are a coach.

A friend told the story of how, when he was about twelve years old, he went to the circus with his father. He said they stood in long line, but finally got to where they were one family away from the ticket window.

The family in front of them had eight children, and they all stood in back of the parents, two by two, holding hands and talking about the clowns and animals. He said you could tell they did not have much money.

He said the man told the lady he wanted ten tickets and the lady said that would be $30.00. The man looked stunned and only pulled a twenty from his wallet.

My friend said his dad “dropped” $20.00 on the ground and made a big scene of picking it up. Then he handed it to the man in front of him and said he must have dropped it. The man accepted it with tears in his eyes.

My friend said he and his father did not see the circus that night, but that was okay, because instead, he saw a little bit of God – in his daddy.

Mothers and fathers are very special people in God’s eyes because they have been given the opportunity to raise God’s little children. And we must always make sure that we have given them three things as we raise them:

· · · · Love, for no other reason than they are our children
· · · · Forgiveness for the things they do that is wrong
· · · · To teach them in the ways of the Lord for His name sake

Those very same things that God has given to us. He is more than our Father. He is our Abba Father, or our Heavenly Daddy. It is Him who we need to run to when we are frightened or need help. It is Him who we need rely on when we can no longer do it ourselves.

As we go into a time of invitation, is there something you wish to get settled with the Lord today? Would you like to make sure you can be the proper father, or the proper Christian, and the proper reflection of our Lord Jesus? You can only do these things if you have Jesus living in the center of your heart.